I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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