Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
