Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
