it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
