I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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