ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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