Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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