Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
