my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
