I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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