yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
