I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
