I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
