well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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