I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
