You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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