I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
