I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
