What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
