Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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