I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Alive.
So much puke
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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