I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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