im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
