Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
