@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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