Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
