You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
