why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
