All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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