I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
