Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
