I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
