brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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