My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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