Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
