I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
