Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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