I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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