Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
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