I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You took a bar mat shot.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
