I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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