You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
