We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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