The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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