Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
