Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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