We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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