I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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