i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
