i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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